Fantasy
You do not need to read these stories.
Jessica provides them for one reason: they are evidence of how her mind tried to tell her something she had asked it to explain.
The answer came back in a highly symbolized form.
She could not break the code.
Jessica wrote these stories roughly thirty-five years before she had the language and conceptual background necessary to understand what they might be saying. Once she acquired that language, parts of them began making sense in ways they never had before.
That does not mean her present interpretation is necessarily the final one.
Several times over those thirty-five years, Jessica believed she had figured these stories out.
She was wrong.
So she reserves the right to be wrong again. These are artifacts of an investigation, not proof of its conclusions.
About the Sexual Content
Jessica has often called these her sexual fantasies.
That description is misleading.
Sex occurs throughout them, sometimes explicitly, but pleasurable sex is not what these stories are principally about. Sexuality appears to have been one of the languages her mind used to represent something else.
Again and again, the underlying structures concern power, coercion, submission, control, and the rewriting of another person's identity.
Who has authority?
Who decides what another person will become?
What happens when resistance becomes impossible?
What happens when someone else's desires replace your own?
The sexual acts are often mechanisms through which those relationships are expressed. Their intensity should not be mistaken for evidence that sexual pleasure was their underlying purpose.
That distinction took Jessica decades to recognize.
A Warning
Jessica suggests that you do not read these stories unless you have a particular reason for doing so.
They are presented here because they may be useful to someone interested in how a neurodivergent mind, lacking episodic autobiographical memory and shaped by complex childhood trauma, might encode material it cannot otherwise articulate.
They are not gentle material.
Jessica has divided them into three groups:
Kind → Mean → Awful
Those names are relative.
As you proceed, the stories become increasingly disturbing. The amount and severity of sexualized material, violence, coercion, humiliation, identity destruction, and abuse increase substantially.
Some contain incest.
The later stories in particular may be deeply unpleasant to read.
Nothing requires you to read them in order to understand the rest of this site. Their presence here is documentary.
**For decades Jessica had the answer sitting in front of her.
She simply didn't know how to read it.**
AMELIA MARY EARHART
~7 minute read · Fantasy · Identity · Transformation · Desire · Kind
“What shall we play?”
“Teatime.”
A father sits down at his daughter Sabrina’s tiny table and begins pretending to be Amelia Earhart. The game should end when teatime does. Instead, Amelia gets a makeover, buys a little black Chanel dress, goes to La Côte Basque, meets Frederick—and discovers that perhaps Sabrina wasn’t playing quite the game her father thought she was.
FATHER OF THE BRIDE
~25 minute read · Fantasy · Transformation · Family · Love · Kind
“With luck, in no time at all you’ll be a completely different you.”
Daryn’s daughter has disappeared just before her wedding. Fortunately—or disastrously—her grandmother Amanda has a plan. A few pills become a makeover, a makeover becomes a substitution, and somewhere along the way the father of the bride discovers that he fits his daughter’s clothes, fills her wedding gown, and may be considerably more interested in the groom than anyone anticipated.
FUN WITH EDDY
Fantasy · Transformation · Identity · Mean
The source text for this story isn’t currently accessible to me, so I’m leaving the hook and description open rather than inventing them.
GIRLS SUMMER CAMP
Fantasy · Gender · Transformation · Kind
The source text for this story isn’t currently accessible to me, so I’m leaving the hook and description open rather than guessing from the title.
IO
Fantasy · Identity · Transformation · Kind
I can find Io elsewhere in the surviving material, but not enough to establish that material as this particular story. I’m therefore leaving the card undescribed until we have the actual text.
MISSING
Fantasy · Transformation · Gender · Domesticity · Kind
“Sure. It takes longer. But it’s worth it.”
Collin’s pants have somehow disappeared from his closet, replaced by skirts. Then come the curling iron, makeup, heels, hose, and the bewildering discovery that what initially feels compulsory can rather quickly become ordinary—and perhaps even preferable.
PRAYER
Fantasy · Childhood · Transformation · Faith · Kind
“God, please let me grow up like my real dad.”
Jason prays every night to grow strong and big so that he and his sister can escape. God doesn’t exactly say no. The miracle simply takes an unexpected form: each day Jason grows less like his father and more like his mother.
ROCK BOTTOM
Fantasy · Transformation · Identity · Sick
The source text for this story isn’t currently accessible to me, so I’m leaving the hook and description open rather than manufacturing a story from its title.
SUMMER THING
Fantasy · Transformation · Identity · Kind
The source text for this story isn’t currently accessible to me. “Summer Thing” also occurs elsewhere in the site in an entirely different context, so I don’t want to infer anything about this story from that phrase.
TRADE SCHOOL
Fantasy · Transformation · Identity · Kind
The source text for this story isn’t currently accessible to me, so I’m leaving the hook and description open until we can recover it.